Craving, Charm, Bliss Justice T.S. ARUNACHALAM

Craving was always mine, since it was so willed by the Guru. Charm - it was always Yogi Ramsuratkumar, call Him by any name you like - Beggar, Dirty-Sinner, Mad-man, God-child. Looking at Him is CHARM - you cannot take away your eyes of HIM, unless on His volition; His piercing powerful eyes, makes you bow down involuntarily due to its extraordinary potency. CHARM yes, look at any picture of His-are you not engulfed in thrill immeasurable, with that rich feast for the eyes, of that "POOR BEGGAR". No two pictures have even specks of similarity - I should have seen and immersed myself in several hundreds of photographs of His - even the best actor cannot portray such multitude of expressions which the Master of Masters, the creator of all, any and everything, could alone exhibit and fascinate. Whether you look at Him, in his physical body, a sketch or picture or you do not look at Him at all, either way, you are still CHARMED, by the very thought of Him and the mind, this time you have to mind about that mind, for it effectively attempts irrespective of the results to screen the thought waves of the Rupa-Arupa, all pervading entity, that Father, who alone exists, nothing else, nobody else. Father andSon merged - the Universal Father RAMSURATKUMAR ALONE, is all pervading, here, there, everywhere.

BLISS is that which, He alone can give either after the first two stages or at any time without any barrier, for He is the "Doer, Does and Done".

After my first darshan in 1989, though Bhagawan became relevant, there was neither fascination nor disinclination towards Him. It was He who broke the barrier and bade me, through some friends to preside over a function at Chennai, the topic for pondering being "Divine Sources for human Resource Development". When I told those friends, that I do not have any idea about this Swami, or possessed any detail about Him, to speak, they offered help and added, that it was a boon to be selected by a Saint of a very high order, to chair an important function in the metropolis. Though those words were attractive, they did not have any special impact . However I agreed because there was no disinclination.

That day in Chennai was a turning point - may I say, the first thought wave clutch, which made me turn in the direction of Tiruvannamalai. When my brother Dr.T.S.Ramanathan and I were seated in the audience, before I was called to go up the stage, both of us noticed a huge picture of this Swami holding a coconut shell, palmyrah fan and a stick with the Arunachala Hill in the background. As we were watching the portrait, I could feel the person in the picture coming alive, his whole body moving - so physically activated, that I was at once stunned and frightened. My brother spontaneously nudged me to narrate the same or similar "live experience". I spoke and so, so many others. The craving commenced, that this person in the picture has something special - may be positive or negative - but He had to be met very soon, to satiate that burning desire. That meeting did take place two days later, when my brother and I alone were closeted inside the Sannadhi Street house, with the Swami.

Swami collected from us all details about the Chennai meeting. To drive away my thought foments which had grappled me after my first darshan, "if this Swami was real or fake - appeared real due to extraordinary radiance and powerful eyes but did give rise to the opposite view, by His not looking as one imagines a Saint and His careless freedom as a chain smoker". Swami who had obviously read my mind exclaimed "Just as a Guru has a right to test before accepting a disciple, a disciple too has the liberty to test fully before accepting a Guru". Surprised happiness was the outcome, since the blot in my mind, stood removed. I was not even dreaming of any Guru, much less Guru-Sishya relationship at that point of time, but true to the saying that "Coming events cast their shadows before", Swami laid the foundation, to annexe me, little by little, bit by bit to His Spiritual Kingdom. Many instances brewed later because He so ordained and everyone of them were purposely brought into existence by Him to talk to me periodically for hours and take me slowly away from the mundane life and din in my thoughts, the need for participating in Father's work with love and dedication. As and when He makes it feasible, I will attempt to write about those unforgettable experiences, which stand glued in my memory, made ever green by Him. The Sparisa diksha (Blessing by Touch) was predominant, lasting and continuous, almost till Swami was hospitalised and thereafter in a lesser measure - duration and continuance - wise but greater effective for on those occasions, I could realise power punches.

The concern Swami had for me - must be true for every devotee - was exceptional, as I realise today and not at those times. Heavy and torrential rains lashed Tamilnadu, years ago and the roads were so water-logged that car-travel from Chennai to Tiruvannamalai was impossible. My craving, to have darshan of Swami then, was so saturated, that satiation could emerge only after meeting Him. My efforts to put down my craving failed. On the contrary the craving multiplied in leaps and bounds. Ultimately I travelled by bus, accompanied by Sri Sakthivel. Throughout the travel, the rains did not abate and we felt that we were on a boat ride rather than a road travel. We reached our destination a little late but not out of time, for evening darshan of Swami, in the Ashram campus. As was usual, Bhagawan had me seated next to Him and His hand either clutched mine or was placed on my lap. When He decided to smoke He will with an infections smile take my hand and keep it on his lap. Every part of my body, the head, the neck, the forehead, the shoulders, back, the chest, the abdomen, the hands, legs and the feet plus toes have had the beneficent and gracious touch, of the Master, wholly for my good. Suddenly Swami asked me "How did you come?". I said by bus. I could visualise His anger and before any utterance could leave my lips, He almost shouted "Father does not want Justice Arunachalam to travel by bus". I replied "Sorry Bhagawan, I will not commit that blunder again". His waning anger shot the next question, "When you want to leave to- morrow how will you go"? I responded "As Swami wills - I am certain that I will not take a bus". Before I could finish, the next query burst out "By which car will you travel"?. "If you cannot arrange it yourself this Beggar will arrange for you". Embarrassed with distress of having troubled Swami, due to my indiscretion, I told Him "Some friends regularly come by car every Sunday for your darshan. If you permit, I will travel with them'. There was a full stop, on this topic for the day.

The next morning those friends did not arrive as usual at 10.30 A.M. Swamiji was periodically asking me, "If they had come" and every time my suspensed response was in the negative. I beamed when they arrived at 11.15 A.M. and promptly informed Bhagawan, whose neighbour I was, as usual. The visibly happy Swami called those friends near Him and addressed us generally "How long do you know each other". The almost joint response was that we knew each other casually for a couple of months and recently we came a little closer due to help rendered by them, to get ready and paint 2 big boards for the Ashram. Bhagawan exclaiming "Is it"! enquired them, if they had accommodation in their car to take me. When they said 'yes' He confronted them with more interrogations such as how may of you travelled from Madras in this car; what is the seating capacity of the car; do you have a comfortable seating accommodation for Justice Arunachalam; etc. Being satisfied on their answers, He told them with authority "that they had to drop me first at my residence and that they cannot get down first and send me off, with their driver." They willingly agreed and the PROTECTOR SWAMI had in His own inimitable manner of functioning, had me landed at Madras, the way He wanted it. There is a cause for every action of Bhagawan, which we may understand sometimes much later or never understand at all. WHY should we understand for it is He who gives the Craving, Charm and Bliss. Every time I spent with Him I was in BLISS.

Such instances are in scores. However He spontaneously granted a very FEW BOONS, making me demand them. Let us see, if we can share them, sometime.

Pranams at Bhagawan's Lotus feet.